A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold
Crown Publishing- click to see a clip from one of Sue’s interviews
This book is an absolute must read; especially if you are a person who thinks it must be the parents fault when a child does this kind of horrible act. She makes no excuses and lays bare her grief and guilt for all to see but in laying it all out there is healing and at least some understanding of what was happening in her child, the signs she missed the things she would have done different but hindsight is 20/20 and can any of us say we would have done anything differently.
This book is so powerful I could not put it down, I couldn't help but feel her pain in every word, Sue & Tom were good parents but Dylan was adept at hiding from them what he didn't want them to see. Think for a minute what you hid from your parents when you were a teen…..
It also wasn't just from his parents that he hid this other side of himself , his friends were just as shocked and he had been let out early of a diversion program because they thought he had learned his lesson and probably wouldn't commit another crime and they are professionals there is also his school counselor who read a violent story he had written and didn't see anything to be alarmed about, and as Sue says but she was his mother and she should have seen the signs but he was very good at hiding his inner turmoil there is no guarantees that if she had gotten him help if it would have changed anything. Also from everything I've seen and read including this book I believe Dylan would have committed suicide by himself and not gone on the rampage he did without Eric Harris, no I am not putting all the blame on Eric I am just saying they fed off of each other Eric was more murderous while Dylan was suicidal.
My heart breaks for the grief and hatred she has endured, as she says yes her son was a murderer but he was still the baby she bore and the sweet boy she raised, that is who she mourns, not the stranger who walked into Columbine school that April morning.
As she wrote in her journal on the day she saw the horrible “basement tapes”
I learned so much about how a suicidal mind works and how so many times the signs are so subtle that it is hard to distinguish between something to be worried about and just normal teenage angst. Not every troubled person acts out some suffer in silence.
I think every High School Counselor, Suicide Prevention Groups, Teachers, and Parents, well really just anyone who deals with young people should read this book, Sue Klebold searched for answers and what she found is truly frightening her child hid so much pain from her and that is heartbreaking. She never stops apologizing to the victims and their families and no matter how much they blame her I honestly don’t think anyone could blame her as much as she blames herself.
So the next time there is a school shooting, please be kinder to the parent of that child.